Kingdom LivingTV – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6mwtATgBbDcT2JhVwhjrOQ
KingdomLivingTV – https://rumble.com/c/c-1903427
KingdomLiving TV – https://www.bitchute.com/channel/kingdomlivingtv/

23 February 2023

[Music] foreign [Music]
Living Community welcome back this is rise up the Wednesday show but this is
part of a series this is number four so if you’ve missed the others Parts one
through three please go back and make sure that you catch that because this is an ongoing work this is a 40-day thing
so this is and it’s and it’s exceptional and you need for you to get the most out
of it you’re going to want to back up if you haven’t already so start back at one
two and three there’ll be a release of the foreign marriages delighting in the
Lord and then destroying sexual alters and then uh today is number four in that
fast series about tearing down and building up so you’re gonna rise up with
this one um and make sure that you are building up in the right ways and so before we
get into that make sure you’re getting your notebooks and your pens and your Bible and all of that and the resource
that’s been mentioned in several of the episodes for the fast is the original
yeah yeah the right way yours goes the right way
on my screen so there you go so you’re going to want to pick that
pick that book up if you can it’ll just be helpful for you but you don’t need it
for the portions that Jesse’s been leading through on this fast because she’s going to be reading from it and
then you get to just repeat along with and get these altars cleared and out of
your life so before we get going uh a reminder that the next live recording
VIP weekend for Jesse’s next course is coming up rise
so that’s uh marketing 24th through 26th Tampa Florida and so make sure you go to
kingdomliving with jesse.com to get your tickets it’s going to be an amazing time
with more of a retreat kind of feel um right Family Fun worship like the
whole ball of wax the records it’s amazing there I’m telling you you know we’re gonna have a nice Friday it’s
gonna be a night together we’ll have dinner uh we’ll do a q a it’s just going
to be really nice and relaxed and then Saturday we kick off with the four sessions for the course
and also we’ll have an amazing lunch um I don’t know how many of you have
you know the last time you got to get out and sit on a beautiful porch uh or
out in the yard like a picnic style um but this is the type of place where
it just reminds me of you know some of the places in my childhood where I just love to sit outside enjoy others company
and and just sit in the Lord’s presence so it’s going to be um really an excellent time together
refreshing renewing um so I encourage you if you can make it for the live you definitely don’t want
to miss out that’s gonna be exciting and the the those that have been through the first
courses you’re going to be extra excited because you already got to see the
extraordinary artwork that Terry does and God gave her such an amazing gift to
illustrate and paint it’s just beautiful uh Jesse’s Visions memories experiences
encounters with the Lord and so she’s captured all of that as a lot of you know from the first set of course is
because you got to see them in the course material and if you were there at
the last recording you got to see the pieces there live and the journal books
I forgot about that that’s right and these there’s going to be more because the Lords continue to give her
more so it’s just so amazing to work with her and um it’s it’s fantastic it’s
going to be exciting so it’s awesome that all of the different the cool spiritual stuff in the in courts and
different things that she’s been able to to like she gets it she’s like oh I gotta paint that you know it’s like
right it’s so good it’s like part part of the victory part of the prophetic Victory to have have those photographs
so to speak of those moments so that’s so amazing yeah oh my gosh exciting so
yeah make sure that you go to Kingdom living with jesse.com to go and get those and if you really want to come to
the second round of all of this and you haven’t done the first you should probably go there and get the first set
of courses and start working on that so that by the time it comes to be the end of March you make sure you’re up to
speed before she launches into the rise of the righteous I’m so excited about
that that’s right oh my goodness all right so
number four in the series
yes so we’re gonna start you know it’s important to understand that as we
begin to tear down or destroy these um evil altars in our lives that it’s
important to balance that out by raising up and establishing
um the right way that we’re to live if we don’t what’s going to happen is
you know many people will have those spirits come back continue to tempt them
as you fall into those Temptations and sins again they’re just gonna rebuild an altar there in that place so you know
we’re trying to prevent that because they’ll not only build one they’ll invite all their friends to come back
and you know destroy you with them so um it’s important to focus on that and
to work on building that right relationship with the Lord so last time we talked about you know delighting in
the Lord and and what that looked like tonight we’re gonna start to talk about honor in our relationship with God and
with one another and you know this is it’s kind of a harder concept to
understand but if we put it into a nutshell really honor deals with you know the way that
we present ourselves to others um you know so it includes our words our
body language even the things that we maybe don’t say our appearance
um you know our eye contact so all of that plays a part in that
honor and um you know the Lord’s desire is for us to
have right relationships with him the first thing that I would say you know is
involved in that honor is respect you know our heart attitude towards that
person um you know if you think about respect that deals a lot with the communication
as well as with action so how do we communicate with somebody and how do we
act both non-verbally as well as physically towards them
you know when we think about relationships that we respect like I
think back to you know one of my great grandmothers she was very good at greeting people
so you know whenever you were on your way you know she would be watching for
you even before you got to the door you know the moment the car pulled in she
would be listening and waiting and she would be opening that door and she’d be running out to take take us in her arms
and give us big hugs and kisses right the same thing when we stayed overnight at her house she would you know always
be up earlier than us she would sit there and wait and listen the moment you
know she heard us stirring you know she would be excited and and would be engaging and you know what do
you want for breakfast and how can I you know what can I make for you how did you
sleep you know so there was a level of respect there that you know so with that
there’s a lot of different things like you know the communication so think about that in your
relationships you know especially if your relationship is struggling
um I you know I think back to a time when I had my three shoulder surgeries my communication towards my family was
not not good um I was in so much pain and you know
nothing would lift that pain like it was just intense pain all the time you know
if if one of the kids was even walking across the living room in front of me you know that that bear in me would be
like you know you’re like stop just don’t take another step right
and I particularly would get mad around food because
I felt so helpless like I couldn’t you know I could not for the life of me with
my left hand cook myself something so it meant I couldn’t have any food that I
had to get off the stove I couldn’t open a can or open in a jar
um I could get the fridge door open you know and I was hoping I could open a
Ziploc bag but let me tell you those Ziploc bags are really difficult to open one-handed it just wasn’t
happening and I’d be sitting there like with my teeth trying to get that bag open and it still wouldn’t work
and uh I would get so frustrated because I’d be so hungry you know
that it finally it would just be like okay somebody get me something make me
something you know so you know think about that like in your communication you know start to if
it’s not what it should be you know start to listen how you
interact with others how do you communicate uh there should be a giving and a receiving and one of the things
that you know I look for in relationships is um you know I had passed relationships
with friends where there was not an equal yoke
um like those people they made they would ask questions that would uh cause me to have to be very vulnerable and you
know to go very deep they there was like a expectation
that I would trust them and you know their questions would imply that I could trust them with the Deep
things they were asking me to share but what I began to realize was that that again was not equally yoked because
then when I would ask the same questions um they wouldn’t want to share they
wouldn’t want to give any um depth or vulnerability or trust you
know so assess that in your relationships that
communication line needs to be equal in vulnerability and there has to be that
equal give and receive and how you receive is important you
know um if somebody says something to you
um you know you have the opportunity to carry the conversation on by how you
respond or to immediately shut it down and if you’re constantly immediately
shutting down the relationship you know the communication line in the relationship because you want to go do
something else well then you’re really not investing in that relationship and
you know you’re not receiving well nor are you giving well
so those are important things to look at when we talk about respect
um the other is the non-verbal language now here’s where we might get
you know I I guess I’ll say men and women I can’t I can’t just pick one or
the other but one of the biggest influencers in relationships is either
the television the phone or the computer that our attention is driven you know or
disposed someplace else and our family comes they’re trying to speak with us and and we’re engaged with our eyes
yep and all that and I know that’s the area where I myself am guilty you know
at times so work on you know
putting that down you know when you set aside your time
with the Lord it needs to be his time nobody else no
other distractions um when people come to you whether it’s your spouse or your children put
everything down and give them your full attention um some of the things you you know
that’s where the body language comes in you know and this is such a beautiful
imagery of an example of what we’re talking about scripture talks about the
Lord turning his face towards us and you know there’s something to that
face and that you know face-to-face eye to eye contact that is vitally important
to a healthy relationship we don’t want to withhold that from each
other um so you know work on turning your face
toward words and giving that full attention giving your ear and being
attentive to what they’re saying repeat back or paraphrase what you hear being
said we did a great episode on that I think we called it
um something like what I hear or what am I hearing something like that at the
beginning can you hear me I think right can you hear me and we talked about
you know a very helpful tool that I had learned in chaplain school where as
we’re listening to people say stuff we repeat back um you know but in different words so
you know I would say I hear you saying and then you’re gonna repeat back what
you heard and that gives them the chance to say well no that’s not exactly what I was saying or that’s not exactly what I
meant and that keeps the conversation going so that’s a really good tool I encourage
people if you’re having issues with that communication you know go back and watch that
um so we also then have you know the third part of that respect
you you’ve got the communication you have the you know the things that you’re doing non-verbally and the non-verbal
language but you also have the physical language and we want that to be healthy
too you know I think about you know again going back to my
grandmother where you know she would always put a hand on either the top of my head or on my shoulder or like kind
of on around my back whenever I was talking to her now what was funny about that was that it would in honesty it
would make me feel uncomfortable because what it did was it automatically drew me
to a closer place to her like it you know it would Draw Me Closer to her because you know beyond arms like you
know it Draw Me In and I wasn’t used to that
that type of physical closeness with somebody or talking to them that close
but you know as I look back it’s so needed because really you know in my life that
was really the only physical affection that I received and it was important you
know that somebody would touch my head or play with my hair rub my back rub my
shoulder that physical touch is really important and we need to start you know putting
that back into our relationships um you know that’s one of the first things that goes when there’s relational
problems in a marriage is that people start withholding and withdrawing and
with the withdrawing you get further and further and further away you know to where I’ve seen you know that
marriage is like they’ll have a fight that they can’t reconcile next thing you
know one of them’s sleeping on the couch well then they’ve got to rearrange the house because they haven’t solved the
problem and now they have to have separate bedrooms and from there you know they’re coming
and going and they’re not even seeing each other really living in the same house together you know they’re like
strangers coming and going in the night um so you know that lack of physical action
really you know keeps that distance in a relationship
and you know I know for myself that many times like even with you know I think
back to um even my abusive relationships um especially with my Proctor
that you know when she would do be doing things uh that would hurt me or
um you know made me so angry that I wanted to turn away there was always
that moment where it’s like I just wanted her to to
have that shift to you know I wanted her to stop the hurt whether it was be
emotional or physical or verbal I just wanted the hurt to stop the arrows that
were flying at me to stop and when I turned away there was that part of my
heart that said come after me draw me back like just take me in your arms and
hug me and and tell me you’re sorry because I wanted to forgive you know I
wanted that right relationship so you know thinking about that in your
relationships like where are those moments like can you break that anger enough to just start drawing
towards yourself because that’s exactly what the Lord does he he draws us
towards himself and it says you know in Isaiah 12 then it says you know I Praise You O
Lord for although you are angry your anger has turned away and you comfort me
and that word Comfort has that idea of like a mother head’s wings that come in
and scoop you up and scoop you close to the heart so you know we need to start
making that shift happen in the relationship not allowing the the
withdrawing or the driving away start drawing towards pulling in
um you know the other thing is um that’s part of you know honoring
where we put others needs before our own um acknowledging that we’ve hurt others
that’s that’s a very vulnerable place to be to ask forgiveness when we’ve done
something wrong and um you know it’s it is really important
to be able to um confess those things that’s what the Lord desires of us is to you know go to
them personally to address what was our sin and to ask forgiveness for it and
you know that’s what he wants us to do
there’s a beautiful beautiful relationship that I encourage people
look up and see you know what videos you can find but that’s of Joni Erickson
Tada and her husband um I don’t know his name but
I will never forget the video I saw with him um she is somebody who had been in an
accident that paralyzed her uh she was you know has done singing
throughout the year she does a lot of encouragement with uh
um the books that she’s written and she goes out and does talks and things like that
but with her singing and her uh paralyzation I guess there was a point
in time where it got worse for her where she wasn’t able to you know control her
stomach muscles to be able to to sing so the video that I saw you know showed
her getting ready for a concert and her husband kneels down next to her
and will put his hand on her stomach and then you know it takes so much attention
and um awareness towards her and and knowing
you know exactly what she’s doing or thinking but anyway he pushes on her stomach to release that air up so that
she can sing if he didn’t do it there wouldn’t be any sound coming out
from her so you know to me there was just no
better example of somebody who laid their life down you
know here she is paralyzed but her desire is to serve the Lord and to have
this amazing Ministry and he’s behind the scenes making it happen you know
doing whatever he can to help her so that she has that Ministry so such a
beautiful example for us to look at and and that’s really you know where God wants all of us and
our relationships is that each of us need to live in such a way so that you
know that we are helping others walk in the way that God has uh chosen for them to
walk in completing the good works that he’s given them to do
so the third thing and this one’s a hard one we were
talking about this one beforehand um the third thing in honor is clearly
expressing your needs your likes your desires and your wants and
your dislikes and the things that make you uncomfortable Now Tracy where would you where would
you put yourself on an on a scale like do you think is it easier for you or let’s assess do
you struggle to share with others your likes your desires and your true wants
like you’re not just you know saying oh this is my favorite ice cream like we’re talking about the
vulnerability the things that you don’t tell people like you know what type of
pajamas you like to wear right to bed right I mean there’s there’s certain
details that we just don’t put in our lives because you know only those really
that we’re in Intimate Relationships need to know but is that something that
you is easy for you or difficult I guess it depends on what it is
sometimes it’s easier than others but for me it’s easier to slip into almost a
Ministry mode where my wants and needs don’t matter because the person in front
of me does and so a lot of times I’ll leave out things all together that I
don’t tell friends and it’s just like this giant Omission because I’m not even
considering my own needs or wants I always put them in the back background
and that’s not helpful in relationships and like that’s that’s how you end up
with like I’ve heard I’ve heard married people talk about little things that maybe maybe like the husband or the wife
like when they first met they did some little thing maybe I don’t know why I’m getting the imagery of an umbrella drink
but I’m seeing one of those little umbrella guys like that that and and just because at the first time they met
the one received that was like oh that’s amazing I just love those
and there’s no clarification on that then you know 50 years later there’s all
these little umbrellas paper umbrellas it’s a ridiculous it’s a ridiculous
way to put it but it’s like the clarification was never there so it just
is an ongoing thing that never was in the first place but because you never said you know I really don’t like that
or I really don’t like it just keeps coming here like he’s coming yes exactly
and then it starts to get annoying and then you start to get outright mad about it because you’re like I really don’t
like that yes you resent it they’re like whoa what
the first time like I thought I was doing a good thing because the first time we went out on a date this is what
I got you and you were so excited so I thought you liked that this whole time and it’s like no
right that happens a lot with food and drinks you’re right you know that we oh
yeah yeah you know you don’t want to tell them that you don’t like the meatloaf you know you’re just gonna eat
it to be polite you’re gonna make it look good but then every time you come over darn it they got the meatloaf and
you’re like huh and they’re like well I made you your favorite thing and you’re like well thank you
thank you better to go ahead and rip the bandage off and and and and tell the
truth and be vulnerable and all of that because there’s so many misunderstandings that can happen even
with the the non the non-verbal things especially I mean oh my goodness it can
send somebody in the wrong direction for years if you cannot well and I think there’s a decent way like there’s an
honoring respectful way to do it too where you don’t have to be like I hate
meatloaf you know or this is disgusting I don’t want to eat it like you don’t have to be rude or mean one of the
better ways I found to do it is you you share something more about yourself
so you simply say wow thank you I appreciate so much that you made me
dinner you know this was great um and then you’re gonna share you know one
of my most favorite meals to eat is so now they know that what you really
like right and hopefully I mean you could come
straight out and say you know I rarely eat eat loaf it’s not one of my
favorites but I did you know thank you for making this it was good you know but
I don’t eat it a lot it’s not a favorite of mine but I really like this you know
and maybe we can plan and maybe next time I can cook for you you know what are what are some of your favorite meals
and turn it into an ongoing relationship you know or communication what what do
you like to eat what’s your favorite you know now if they say meatloaf well you’re just gonna have to either suck it
up or you know but that’s usually a good way to avoid like making them feel bad
or you know if you honor the time the effort the way it was give
given you know bring all that out you know I appreciate that you even set the
table how nice was that to have a home-cooked meal you know thank you for making me feel so valued and special you
know I appreciate that and you know when you let it
I’m I’m so sorry I I’m laughing so hard on the inside I need to share it on the
outside even though it’s kind of lame here’s an example of what not to do okay don’t do this
there’s a male member of my family who after consuming anything that is like
not exceptional is like well thank you very much yeah yeah that was great and
um you don’t need to make that again oh my gosh
it’s like oh no that’s obvious that’s really obviously
well I guess I would rather maybe have that I haven’t put another way but
yeah just to be involved of making the meatloaf ever again it’s really okay we have to clarify you know
we don’t encourage don’t throw the plate don’t go throw it in the trash don’t
don’t insult or tear down because they’ve made something that’s horrible
you know I haven’t had one of my in my first years of marriage my ex got super
excited and you know got a new juicer and he was juicing
everything and he normally he’s a very excellent chef but he got this idea that
he was gonna make chicken with a special sauce
and what he did was he jippers and poured it over the chicken
and baked it now me trying to be the nice kind person I sat there and I suffered through and I
ate every single bite and was sitting there like God just helped me swallow it
because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings right no well he looked like he
was nibbling too right and and he waited until I had finished the last bite and
I’m not even kidding like I just finished that last fight and he says well that was really bad do you want to
go out and get something to eat I was like no
no so we have to work on this honesty thing
people and the you know the honor and respect
no Keeping Up Appearances just right when he made the mac and cheese
and accidentally dumped like half the half the shower until he knew I liked
that taste until but he don’t have much hard Dylan that mac and cheese that was
like no I did not let him cook with dill ever again
that’s funny I’ve never heard of that before in my life dark
Ness [Laughter] oh my gosh oh my gosh that’s a good
memory it’s you know it’s it teaches about the honor that we need to have an
openness and relationships that if we NE you know men women if it’s bad just
don’t make the other person suffer through it you know just say hey this
didn’t turn out let’s figure something else out here [Laughter]
yes that is the loving honorary thing to do recognize that go ahead and provide
it suck it up and move on that’s right
so all of that you know as we as we begin to really share you know the depth
of our our intimate desires wants and likes you know that’s probably the
hardest place to go and uh you know when I look back it’s actually really
funny when I entered into the one uh chaplain Residency program
they give you this massive questionnaire that you have to answer every question
and they tell you that you cannot leave any question unanswered um I’m usually somebody if somebody
gives instructions I like to follow them to the tape but as I went through this
all of a sudden there was all these sexual questions on there and I was like really this is not your darn business
right because I grew up where you just you didn’t talk about affection you
didn’t talk about those things you didn’t openly display it in public you
know that was something that was just between a man and his wife in their personal space and nobody else got to
know right so but what it taught me was that you know really like there we have
to be that place of vulnerability and it doesn’t mean that we just are vulnerable with the whole world with their most
intimate things but are we you know intimate with those
that are most or who are the closest to us in our lives you know your husband
your wife that’s somebody that you God designed you to be intimate with so are
you withholding those intimacies not sharing with them what you really like or desire or are
you opening up having that conversation you know that is what builds Trust
and there’s a lot of distrust in marriages and relationships so there’s
only one way to write that we have to start to communicate those likes and
dislikes and wants and desires now we have to start building that trust
with each other um you know trust is the true two-way street as it’s given you know we have to
receive it and we have to be faithful with it like we have to you know honor
that person with that trust not use it as a weapon against them or use it to
insult them or tear them down um it’s really a sacred honor that God
gives um to have that that place of trust in a
relationship yeah it’s a good word for that that the Lord’s been showing me is you
know goes back to early Genesis where the Lord first commands about the
relationship between a husband and a wife and he says that you know they shall be joined together they shall be
naked and they shall be unashamed you know so there’s that that nakedness
is not just physical there’s also that deep emotional spiritual connection with
each other that you know you can openly display that and talk about things and
not be ashamed or not be shaming one another as you bring out things so
you know make it fun you know I’ve known some couples that they and they will sit
there and have the talk and conversations and then they’ll go and test it out you know they’ll plan out
something to to um encourage one another in that to make
each other’s desires and wants come true you know so that mindfulness and that’s
you know that’s part of listening that you know when we act on what we’ve heard we’re
really helping the other person feel like they’re being listened to
and all of that leads to the you know the last two things in as we talk about
honor which is you know get excited to spend time together
you know if you’re not excited to spend time with your spouse you need to shift that and change it if
they’re not excited to spend time with you you need to really shift figure out what is going on in that relationship
because you know it’s ultimately meant to display that relationship that we
have with Christ and there’s a disconnect and I think that part of that disconnect comes
through you know the spiritual unequally yoked part where you’ll have
one spouse that’s really spiritual really close with God and then you have another one that’s not
and you know God is excited to spend time with us so you know that spouse
that’s closest to God is excited you know they want to make that relationship
work they want to spend time with that person but then you get you know the
other side where you’ve got the spouse that isn’t excited about the relationship and they definitely you
know aren’t excited about the things about God and um you know how do we
how do we shift that and the shift comes in putting into practice
a very simple truth the Lord prepares for us
he prepares good works in advance he prepares a place
he you know prepares for those conversations for that time of
intimacy you know he’s always waiting for us to come so how do we then Implement that into
our relationships well you know are we creating moments do we prepare for
moments of loving one another you know and here’s where again I think last week we addressed this a little bit
spice it up you know we’re meant to display that amazing marriage
relationship between Christ and his church so why do we have dull unfruitful
stagnant marriages you know we’re meant to really live really love really enjoy
and Delight in one another and that’s meant to be displayed you know before the world so
I encourage people you know we don’t want to know the intimate sexual things
but um we do want to know because you know this is a learning and a Growing
Experience for all of us so you know as you go through this week
think what can I what can you do you know to create that intimacy with your
spouse to prepare for those moments together to invest in one another share that you know share what you come
up with we want fun we want creative we want to see you know husbands and
wives delighting in each other laughing having Joy
um you know or if you’re working towards that type of relationship you know again
um how are you honoring the Lord in that relationship you know what are the
things that you’re doing to woo or pursue or to to advance that
relationship where God wants it to be I’m just going to be firm like we said
this is your SEC sex talk for the year it’s the best one you’re ever gonna get
and so I just have to include in there you know God says if you’re not married
you know you have to create those moments without them being sexual without you know going into that area of
sexual sin so you know I am a firm believer in abstinence if you’re not married so I’m just going to put that
out there but you know let’s hear your creative ideas of how you can begin to be building
you know that trust that honoring that respect for one another in developing
those relationships if you’re you know dating or um single and you’re moving into that
phase with somebody where you know you’re wanting to move into courtship or marriage so
um you know we want to hear about it because we want to share these things we want to give good healthy ideas to
others in that same space let us know what you’re doing um if you’re really struggling with sin
we want to know about that too you know we can pray for you and get people
um lifting you up helping you through those struggles um one of the other things I want to
address before we go tonight is the critical spirit
you know I I see that really there’s uh there’s a few things really
behind that one is a a spirit of perfectionism
um a spirit of do it myself a spirit of being unsatisfied
um being a bad receiver and being judgmental and also the silence and the
withdrawing so if you you know if you’re struggling with that or or you’re in a relationship
where you’re dealing with somebody who’s just really critical um
you know there needs to be a shift there um
if they’re not at a place where they can receive anything that you have to give
in that relationship then you need to be talking to the Lord about that because
you know it’s just not what the Lord desires for us there’s no fruit being born in that
and um with that you know I see a lot of body
shaming and appearance criticisms
um so I just you know we need to break it and the best way to do that is just
in prayer rebuke that Spirit um you know and really we need to start
making that shift with our words the Lord is our provider the Lord is the one
who knit us in our mother’s wombs none of us had an option or a choice when God made us
about our appearance or our looks none of us had a choice about you know
what body type we were going to have or how our body would continue to work and operate as we got older
um we do have choices about things that affect our
appearance in our body um you know the things that we can control or change our our diet exercise
the way we dress uh the way we do our hair our makeup so those are all things
that we can change if we’re not happy with it or if
our spouse or the person we are in a relationship with is not happy with it
now what I don’t want to see is I don’t want you know any of you going out and
and starting to tell you know um your spouse or the person you’re in a
relationship with all the things that you dislike about their appearance that is not where we’re going with this
um especially if you want to live through the end of the year you know yeah yeah I mean I don’t encourage you saying hey like
babe you need to dye it or you know tonight you’re getting a salad you know
these are not good things to say it’s not how we change you know unhealthy
habits I find that the best way to you know help somebody is through
encouragement but you don’t want the fake you don’t want to lie to him you don’t want to say you know you’re the
most beautiful girl in the world when they know that and they feel like they’re not
you know that’s just going to be a mocking it’s going to tear down more and it just adds to that feeling of I’m not
you know I’m not that so don’t do that but what you can do is
you know start to ask the Lord to show you what what to say what you can be
thankful for or what you do enjoy um and then start repeating back to them
those little phrases like you know thank you I appreciate so much every night
that you prepare and set that dinner table I appreciate the time you spend
making dinner and cleaning up afterwards I you know I’m thankful that you serve
me that you bring me this food thank you for that you know that makes me feel special
um maybe that’s something surprisingly you can go do yourself the next time you
know wake up early make breakfast for them and serve them you know or make a
nice dinner prepare things arrange things for them um
you know one of the funniest things I ever saw was
um it actually was really cute and sweet but I was in a church and there was a
younger mom she had like three little kids and they were sitting kind of like spaced out between her and her her
spouse and stuff and the little boy on the end all of a sudden he like reaches up and he has his
arm behind her but he starts like he’s just like stroking and rubbing her hair and playing with it you know and it was
so cute but I sat there and I was like well what a cute expression of love that
he’s you know he’s taking the time just to touch and to play and um to show his mom that he he loves her
hair and you know so
be playful with one another you know appreciate one another like when is the
last time Tracy like you you sat there with one of
your appearance or something and we’re like so how is your day
not that I’m saying I’m not saying I’m comfortable with that myself but the thoughts there you know that like do we
actually like sit there and you know like I talked about with my great-grandmother that she would use
those things to kind of Draw Me Closer to her what are we doing to draw that person closer to us as we’re talking to
them you know so
we’re all here we need a list of creative ideas people you know I need help with this I’m not an expert I’m
gonna say that but the Lord’s put it on my heart so here we are
another thing you can say is you know complimenting but again you don’t want
to don’t do the same things yeah I used to sit there like the Lord
had told me with some of my co-workers um that they really needed words of
encouragement and compliments so I purposely whenever I was interacting you know with them in a
visit I would be looking for stuff that I could then write a little note later
and and slip it into their book box at work and I would say the things that I
appreciated like you know one of them she always was she would always get down
on her knees when she was dealing with people in wheelchairs and so she could look you know look at
them eye to eye and she would give them space and time to talk
and so I wrote a little note and said you know I just think it’s absolutely beautiful the attention that you give to
people and you know I noticed with this you know patient that you knelt down you
were looking her in the eyes and you know even you were rubbing her arm and
you know and she took your hand and I saw that response that she loved just
having that physical touch from you and it looked like you know it brought her so much joy and peace and I love that
you you know treat people like that and you know it’s just such a pleasure to
work with you so things like that you know finding things that you could say
to to your spouse or the person that you’re in relationship with that gives them that encouragement you
know have they dropped everything in their schedule because you forgot something at home to make sure to get it
to you um have they surprised you with a lunch at work when you had a busy day or you
know maybe it’s even as simple as every morning when you get up the coffee’s already made and in the cup exactly the
way you like to drink it you know maybe it’s the all the towels you know are folded just the way you
like them or your clothes are folded or hung just the way you like them and they’re all exactly where you want them
to be right somebody does that somebody has to be mindful and pay attention to
the way you like things in order to arrange it the way you like it so think
the you know encourage them with that um you know that’s a moment to say wow
you were working so hard all day you know come sit down cuddle with me on
the couch you know and give that physical attention that they might need
um turn off the TV you know look him in the eyes hold them close and and just
let them tell you about their day even if it’s you know well I ironed the sheets and I folded all the laundry and
I ran after children and I did school with them and I cooked dinner you know
appreciate that because you know work at home is just as hard as work out in the
public at times you know we’ve got a lot of moms or dads who really
do a lot in the home so show your appreciation for that
and last is you know maybe your spouse or relationship
um as that quirky unique thing that drives you crazy in their appearance
maybe you know like little Alfalfa they got that hair stuff that always wants to
stick straight up in that colic um I want to be funny here because I know
my reaction would probably just to be like licking my fingers again
I don’t encourage that find a way if it’s something that drives
you crazy find a way to encourage them in a
different direction or to do something different but do it in a nice way you
know maybe you could be like I’m thinking of getting a haircut you know
what do you think what styles should I keep it short keep it long I don’t know
um you know talk to them about stuff and maybe encourage them you know
maybe it’s time to get a different hairstyle um you know there’s a point where
sometimes you just gotta be bold you gotta point out the obvious you know but that’s part of it you know
when we think about that honoring we don’t want other the people that
we’re in relationship with to be constantly out in public where
there a lot of people are thinking bad things about them or you know saying bad
things about their appearance so you know I appreciate those like if I
put on something that does not look good on me like we go shopping together
sometimes but if I have it and it doesn’t look good I want my friends to tell me you
know I don’t want them having me go out and then people being like wait what why is she wearing bright orange pants you
know and this is where those moo moo boots I don’t know yes yes and I need to
interject because this is what makes you an amazing friend an amazing at relationship so Side Story is
um what one of the trips we were about to you were you were about to go in and
speak and I put this dress on and I thought that this dress was
helping to minimize certain areas I thought this dress was you know making
me look presentable and it was so hysterical because I’m standing in front of the mirror and I turn around and
Jesse just looks at me and she’s like um
and it was funny because it was that moment that I was like ooh shocker I
don’t look like what I think I look like get this dress and I’m like this dress
actually does to me doesn’t it she was like yes I’m sorry
but when you change you went out for that show and you looked smoking hot
right like you looked great it was so bad I still have that dress and I look
at it it hangs in my closet because I’m not at the place where I can wear it yet someday maybe I can but that is not
today and I look at it and I’m like challenge accepted some days
I’ll look great in that dress that’s right yeah well but I mean the but the
the fact is though is that you want to despair me basically the humiliation of
being on display in the wrong way just because patterns and blocking was just
not good with my friend so anyways you scared me you know from from going out
there and and actually not feeling or looking my best and and and having the
Judgment of others look talking and criticizing my outfit and speaking
against me and like me inwardly cursing myself thinking I don’t look good or something and other people doing it
inside of them so I just I appreciate that so much you’re the friend that if you got a green thing right here you’re
gonna be like I’m gonna say something be like now go get right there right there
and again that’s not like being critical it’s it’s honoring the relationship like
you don’t want to have them go out and looking horrible you know so if it really doesn’t look
good say you know I hate to tell you this but that dress it you know and you don’t have to I guess the way to word it
is not to say you look fat or you know that makes you look big or that makes
you look horrible like you don’t want to compliment on necessarily or attack the
individual what you say is that style is not does
not look right or maybe that color’s not right that doesn’t fit you like it should it doesn’t you know accentuate
what it should so you know if we say it that way and I know you know women we have to be gentle
with men like listen to your men if if they’re giving you a look
you know don’t beat them up because they’re being honest you know maybe let them help you shop or
you know try on stuff and say should I wear this or this give them the option to tell you what looks good on you
um you know so that’s probably the best way to approach that is that we need to
not beat up those who are being honest because they’re trying to save us the humiliation and the embarrassment
amen you know I just have to I have to rat out the same male member of my
family no no not Mister you must not have that
again here’s your husband here’s what what not
to do okay so when when your wife comes downstairs and she says honey how do I
look do not say again if you want to live through the end of the year do not say
don’t you have anything else you can put on
I don’t I I personally would think that would be a better response than my God
honey I could take that off
you know what it was I had the old lady lip kissers in my childhood those
Catholic women that would come with a big lipstick in the big purses I think
they carried everything in those purses I mean it was better than an ammo bag
that the military had I’m telling you they definitely are more equipped for
any situation than our U.S military but they’ve got stuff from the Paleolithic
Era down in there they did have the lipstick and the big jewelry and you
know the outfits that were you know bright and and just like you’re like
that that just you know needs some toning down honey you know
it’s it we’re not trying to make fun of but it’s like what do you you know like
I guess it’s that honoring again like how do we say things you know we all to be honest
we all have thoughts we have natural reactions towards what we see and you know that’s what I’m bringing
out and I think back to one of my sons actually when he was little he was had to be like he was either four or five
and we’re driving one day to the store and all of a sudden it’s like every you
know as I’m trying to park he starts saying something about people and he’s like you know but it wasn’t nice stuff
he was like you know he’s like something about like her hanging out or
something like that and then he went to like the next lady like like look how
big her butt looks at those pants and like every imperfection he was pointing
out and I was like stop I was like stop but then as I’m looking I’m like he’s
just blatantly being honestly he’s like calling out things just as it is that’s
the type of kitty is and so we know that people have these thoughts and honoring means that if we
have the thought you know instead of just keeping it to ourselves and
allowing that person to continue to be in situations where others are having those same thoughts
you know the honoring thing would be to you know to share and say hey
you know that really does not look good on you
you know maybe something else would look better can I help you as you try on a
few things or you know even the point of I can remember you know
my great-grandmother one time and it wasn’t even anything bad but she just looked at me and was like you’re not
going out in public in that shirt like go back and change you know
you need to be that blunt you know
sometimes we might just need to be so yeah so again try to do it in a way we
don’t want to make fun we don’t want to tear down we don’t want to destroy and if we know somebody’s struggling
with something in their appearance or their body maybe be that encouragement
to help them change you know that’s what we need to do but we can’t
force people if they choose not to change we can’t force that and sometimes sadly you know we have to watch others
destroy themselves with their bad habits which is that’s difficult to go through
but that’s a topic for another day that is a topic for another day so we’ll
write that one down and come back to it at some point in time what to do in that situation so awesome awesome all right
how about I want to pray this out yes Heavenly Father we just thank you for
this day and this conversation and I just ask that you would release to us
um honesty and honor Lord that we would be in that place where we can respect
and build up and encourage and strengthen each other in our relationships I ask that you would
release relationships where we are delighting and taking joy in one another
and pleasure in one another father I ask that that our intimacy with you would be
would increase Lord that we would wake up excited to spend our time with you
that day excited to pray excited to share our relationship with you with others and I ask that we would be
excited about our marriages Lord that we would be able to display our
love openly with each other that that there would be no more holding back that
you would give us a season where marriages are intimate and um again where we take joy and delight
and pleasure in one another Lord and that our children see that that they see
that display of how a healthy marriage should look because it reflects our
relationship with you so we just praise you and we thank you
and we pray all this in your powerful name Jesus amen amen
very good we will see you next time [Music]

0:00
[Music] foreign [Music]
0:15
Living Community welcome back this is rise up the Wednesday show but this is
0:21
part of a series this is number four so if you’ve missed the others Parts one
0:26
through three please go back and make sure that you catch that because this is an ongoing work this is a 40-day thing
0:34
so this is and it’s and it’s exceptional and you need for you to get the most out
0:39
of it you’re going to want to back up if you haven’t already so start back at one
0:45
two and three there’ll be a release of the foreign marriages delighting in the
0:50
Lord and then destroying sexual alters and then uh today is number four in that
0:59
fast series about tearing down and building up so you’re gonna rise up with
1:05
this one um and make sure that you are building up in the right ways and so before we
1:12
get into that make sure you’re getting your notebooks and your pens and your Bible and all of that and the resource
1:19
that’s been mentioned in several of the episodes for the fast is the original
1:26
yeah yeah the right way yours goes the right way
1:32
on my screen so there you go so you’re going to want to pick that
1:39
pick that book up if you can it’ll just be helpful for you but you don’t need it
1:45
for the portions that Jesse’s been leading through on this fast because she’s going to be reading from it and
1:51
then you get to just repeat along with and get these altars cleared and out of
1:58
your life so before we get going uh a reminder that the next live recording
2:06
VIP weekend for Jesse’s next course is coming up rise
2:14
so that’s uh marketing 24th through 26th Tampa Florida and so make sure you go to
2:21
kingdomliving with jesse.com to get your tickets it’s going to be an amazing time
2:27
with more of a retreat kind of feel um right Family Fun worship like the
2:35
whole ball of wax the records it’s amazing there I’m telling you you know we’re gonna have a nice Friday it’s
2:42
gonna be a night together we’ll have dinner uh we’ll do a q a it’s just going
2:47
to be really nice and relaxed and then Saturday we kick off with the four sessions for the course
2:53
and also we’ll have an amazing lunch um I don’t know how many of you have
3:01
you know the last time you got to get out and sit on a beautiful porch uh or
3:07
out in the yard like a picnic style um but this is the type of place where
3:12
it just reminds me of you know some of the places in my childhood where I just love to sit outside enjoy others company
3:21
and and just sit in the Lord’s presence so it’s going to be um really an excellent time together
3:27
refreshing renewing um so I encourage you if you can make it for the live you definitely don’t want
3:34
to miss out that’s gonna be exciting and the the those that have been through the first
3:40
courses you’re going to be extra excited because you already got to see the
3:45
extraordinary artwork that Terry does and God gave her such an amazing gift to
3:52
illustrate and paint it’s just beautiful uh Jesse’s Visions memories experiences
3:59
encounters with the Lord and so she’s captured all of that as a lot of you know from the first set of course is
4:05
because you got to see them in the course material and if you were there at
4:11
the last recording you got to see the pieces there live and the journal books
4:16
I forgot about that that’s right and these there’s going to be more because the Lords continue to give her
4:23
more so it’s just so amazing to work with her and um it’s it’s fantastic it’s
4:30
going to be exciting so it’s awesome that all of the different the cool spiritual stuff in the in courts and
4:37
different things that she’s been able to to like she gets it she’s like oh I gotta paint that you know it’s like
4:43
right it’s so good it’s like part part of the victory part of the prophetic Victory to have have those photographs
4:51
so to speak of those moments so that’s so amazing yeah oh my gosh exciting so
4:56
yeah make sure that you go to Kingdom living with jesse.com to go and get those and if you really want to come to
5:04
the second round of all of this and you haven’t done the first you should probably go there and get the first set
5:10
of courses and start working on that so that by the time it comes to be the end of March you make sure you’re up to
5:17
speed before she launches into the rise of the righteous I’m so excited about
5:22
that that’s right oh my goodness all right so
5:27
number four in the series
5:32
yes so we’re gonna start you know it’s important to understand that as we
5:38
begin to tear down or destroy these um evil altars in our lives that it’s
5:44
important to balance that out by raising up and establishing
5:50
um the right way that we’re to live if we don’t what’s going to happen is
5:55
you know many people will have those spirits come back continue to tempt them
6:02
as you fall into those Temptations and sins again they’re just gonna rebuild an altar there in that place so you know
6:09
we’re trying to prevent that because they’ll not only build one they’ll invite all their friends to come back
6:16
and you know destroy you with them so um it’s important to focus on that and
6:22
to work on building that right relationship with the Lord so last time we talked about you know delighting in
6:29
the Lord and and what that looked like tonight we’re gonna start to talk about honor in our relationship with God and
6:38
with one another and you know this is it’s kind of a harder concept to
6:44
understand but if we put it into a nutshell really honor deals with you know the way that
6:53
we present ourselves to others um you know so it includes our words our
7:01
body language even the things that we maybe don’t say our appearance
7:09
um you know our eye contact so all of that plays a part in that
7:15
honor and um you know the Lord’s desire is for us to
7:21
have right relationships with him the first thing that I would say you know is
7:26
involved in that honor is respect you know our heart attitude towards that
7:32
person um you know if you think about respect that deals a lot with the communication
7:39
as well as with action so how do we communicate with somebody and how do we
7:45
act both non-verbally as well as physically towards them
7:51
you know when we think about relationships that we respect like I
7:56
think back to you know one of my great grandmothers she was very good at greeting people
8:03
so you know whenever you were on your way you know she would be watching for
8:09
you even before you got to the door you know the moment the car pulled in she
8:15
would be listening and waiting and she would be opening that door and she’d be running out to take take us in her arms
8:23
and give us big hugs and kisses right the same thing when we stayed overnight at her house she would you know always
8:30
be up earlier than us she would sit there and wait and listen the moment you
8:35
know she heard us stirring you know she would be excited and and would be engaging and you know what do
8:42
you want for breakfast and how can I you know what can I make for you how did you
8:48
sleep you know so there was a level of respect there that you know so with that
8:55
there’s a lot of different things like you know the communication so think about that in your
9:02
relationships you know especially if your relationship is struggling
9:07
um I you know I think back to a time when I had my three shoulder surgeries my communication towards my family was
9:16
not not good um I was in so much pain and you know
9:22
nothing would lift that pain like it was just intense pain all the time you know
9:28
if if one of the kids was even walking across the living room in front of me you know that that bear in me would be
9:36
like you know you’re like stop just don’t take another step right
9:42
and I particularly would get mad around food because
9:48
I felt so helpless like I couldn’t you know I could not for the life of me with
9:54
my left hand cook myself something so it meant I couldn’t have any food that I
10:00
had to get off the stove I couldn’t open a can or open in a jar
10:06
um I could get the fridge door open you know and I was hoping I could open a
10:11
Ziploc bag but let me tell you those Ziploc bags are really difficult to open one-handed it just wasn’t
10:18
happening and I’d be sitting there like with my teeth trying to get that bag open and it still wouldn’t work
10:25
and uh I would get so frustrated because I’d be so hungry you know
10:31
that it finally it would just be like okay somebody get me something make me
10:37
something you know so you know think about that like in your communication you know start to if
10:45
it’s not what it should be you know start to listen how you
10:50
interact with others how do you communicate uh there should be a giving and a receiving and one of the things
10:57
that you know I look for in relationships is um you know I had passed relationships
11:05
with friends where there was not an equal yoke
11:11
um like those people they made they would ask questions that would uh cause me to have to be very vulnerable and you
11:19
know to go very deep they there was like a expectation
11:24
that I would trust them and you know their questions would imply that I could trust them with the Deep
11:32
things they were asking me to share but what I began to realize was that that again was not equally yoked because
11:40
then when I would ask the same questions um they wouldn’t want to share they
11:46
wouldn’t want to give any um depth or vulnerability or trust you
11:52
know so assess that in your relationships that
11:58
communication line needs to be equal in vulnerability and there has to be that
12:04
equal give and receive and how you receive is important you
12:10
know um if somebody says something to you
12:16
um you know you have the opportunity to carry the conversation on by how you
12:21
respond or to immediately shut it down and if you’re constantly immediately
12:26
shutting down the relationship you know the communication line in the relationship because you want to go do
12:32
something else well then you’re really not investing in that relationship and
12:38
you know you’re not receiving well nor are you giving well
12:44
so those are important things to look at when we talk about respect
12:50
um the other is the non-verbal language now here’s where we might get
12:55
you know I I guess I’ll say men and women I can’t I can’t just pick one or
13:01
the other but one of the biggest influencers in relationships is either
13:08
the television the phone or the computer that our attention is driven you know or
13:18
disposed someplace else and our family comes they’re trying to speak with us and and we’re engaged with our eyes
13:25
yep and all that and I know that’s the area where I myself am guilty you know
13:31
at times so work on you know
13:36
putting that down you know when you set aside your time
13:42
with the Lord it needs to be his time nobody else no
13:47
other distractions um when people come to you whether it’s your spouse or your children put
13:54
everything down and give them your full attention um some of the things you you know
14:01
that’s where the body language comes in you know and this is such a beautiful
14:06
imagery of an example of what we’re talking about scripture talks about the
14:12
Lord turning his face towards us and you know there’s something to that
14:19
face and that you know face-to-face eye to eye contact that is vitally important
14:25
to a healthy relationship we don’t want to withhold that from each
14:30
other um so you know work on turning your face
14:35
toward words and giving that full attention giving your ear and being
14:41
attentive to what they’re saying repeat back or paraphrase what you hear being
14:47
said we did a great episode on that I think we called it
14:52
um something like what I hear or what am I hearing something like that at the
14:57
beginning can you hear me I think right can you hear me and we talked about
15:03
you know a very helpful tool that I had learned in chaplain school where as
15:08
we’re listening to people say stuff we repeat back um you know but in different words so
15:16
you know I would say I hear you saying and then you’re gonna repeat back what
15:22
you heard and that gives them the chance to say well no that’s not exactly what I was saying or that’s not exactly what I
15:29
meant and that keeps the conversation going so that’s a really good tool I encourage
15:36
people if you’re having issues with that communication you know go back and watch that
15:42
um so we also then have you know the third part of that respect
15:47
you you’ve got the communication you have the you know the things that you’re doing non-verbally and the non-verbal
15:54
language but you also have the physical language and we want that to be healthy
16:00
too you know I think about you know again going back to my
16:06
grandmother where you know she would always put a hand on either the top of my head or on my shoulder or like kind
16:14
of on around my back whenever I was talking to her now what was funny about that was that it would in honesty it
16:21
would make me feel uncomfortable because what it did was it automatically drew me
16:27
to a closer place to her like it you know it would Draw Me Closer to her because you know beyond arms like you
16:36
know it Draw Me In and I wasn’t used to that
16:41
that type of physical closeness with somebody or talking to them that close
16:47
but you know as I look back it’s so needed because really you know in my life that
16:54
was really the only physical affection that I received and it was important you
17:00
know that somebody would touch my head or play with my hair rub my back rub my
17:06
shoulder that physical touch is really important and we need to start you know putting
17:13
that back into our relationships um you know that’s one of the first things that goes when there’s relational
17:20
problems in a marriage is that people start withholding and withdrawing and
17:26
with the withdrawing you get further and further and further away you know to where I’ve seen you know that
17:33
marriage is like they’ll have a fight that they can’t reconcile next thing you
17:39
know one of them’s sleeping on the couch well then they’ve got to rearrange the house because they haven’t solved the
17:45
problem and now they have to have separate bedrooms and from there you know they’re coming
17:51
and going and they’re not even seeing each other really living in the same house together you know they’re like
17:59
strangers coming and going in the night um so you know that lack of physical action
18:08
really you know keeps that distance in a relationship
18:15
and you know I know for myself that many times like even with you know I think
18:21
back to um even my abusive relationships um especially with my Proctor
18:27
that you know when she would do be doing things uh that would hurt me or
18:35
um you know made me so angry that I wanted to turn away there was always
18:41
that moment where it’s like I just wanted her to to
18:46
have that shift to you know I wanted her to stop the hurt whether it was be
18:53
emotional or physical or verbal I just wanted the hurt to stop the arrows that
18:59
were flying at me to stop and when I turned away there was that part of my
19:05
heart that said come after me draw me back like just take me in your arms and
19:11
hug me and and tell me you’re sorry because I wanted to forgive you know I
19:17
wanted that right relationship so you know thinking about that in your
19:23
relationships like where are those moments like can you break that anger enough to just start drawing
19:31
towards yourself because that’s exactly what the Lord does he he draws us
19:36
towards himself and it says you know in Isaiah 12 then it says you know I Praise You O
19:42
Lord for although you are angry your anger has turned away and you comfort me
19:48
and that word Comfort has that idea of like a mother head’s wings that come in
19:53
and scoop you up and scoop you close to the heart so you know we need to start
20:01
making that shift happen in the relationship not allowing the the
20:06
withdrawing or the driving away start drawing towards pulling in
20:12
um you know the other thing is um that’s part of you know honoring
20:19
where we put others needs before our own um acknowledging that we’ve hurt others
20:27
that’s that’s a very vulnerable place to be to ask forgiveness when we’ve done
20:33
something wrong and um you know it’s it is really important
20:39
to be able to um confess those things that’s what the Lord desires of us is to you know go to
20:47
them personally to address what was our sin and to ask forgiveness for it and
20:55
you know that’s what he wants us to do
21:01
there’s a beautiful beautiful relationship that I encourage people
21:07
look up and see you know what videos you can find but that’s of Joni Erickson
21:13
Tada and her husband um I don’t know his name but
21:19
I will never forget the video I saw with him um she is somebody who had been in an
21:27
accident that paralyzed her uh she was you know has done singing
21:33
throughout the year she does a lot of encouragement with uh
21:38
um the books that she’s written and she goes out and does talks and things like that
21:43
but with her singing and her uh paralyzation I guess there was a point
21:49
in time where it got worse for her where she wasn’t able to you know control her
21:55
stomach muscles to be able to to sing so the video that I saw you know showed
22:02
her getting ready for a concert and her husband kneels down next to her
22:09
and will put his hand on her stomach and then you know it takes so much attention
22:16
and um awareness towards her and and knowing
22:22
you know exactly what she’s doing or thinking but anyway he pushes on her stomach to release that air up so that
22:29
she can sing if he didn’t do it there wouldn’t be any sound coming out
22:34
from her so you know to me there was just no
22:40
better example of somebody who laid their life down you
22:45
know here she is paralyzed but her desire is to serve the Lord and to have
22:51
this amazing Ministry and he’s behind the scenes making it happen you know
22:57
doing whatever he can to help her so that she has that Ministry so such a
23:04
beautiful example for us to look at and and that’s really you know where God wants all of us and
23:10
our relationships is that each of us need to live in such a way so that you
23:16
know that we are helping others walk in the way that God has uh chosen for them to
23:23
walk in completing the good works that he’s given them to do
23:30
so the third thing and this one’s a hard one we were
23:35
talking about this one beforehand um the third thing in honor is clearly
23:42
expressing your needs your likes your desires and your wants and
23:50
your dislikes and the things that make you uncomfortable Now Tracy where would you where would
23:58
you put yourself on an on a scale like do you think is it easier for you or let’s assess do
24:07
you struggle to share with others your likes your desires and your true wants
24:12
like you’re not just you know saying oh this is my favorite ice cream like we’re talking about the
24:19
vulnerability the things that you don’t tell people like you know what type of
24:24
pajamas you like to wear right to bed right I mean there’s there’s certain
24:30
details that we just don’t put in our lives because you know only those really
24:36
that we’re in Intimate Relationships need to know but is that something that
24:41
you is easy for you or difficult I guess it depends on what it is
24:46
sometimes it’s easier than others but for me it’s easier to slip into almost a
24:53
Ministry mode where my wants and needs don’t matter because the person in front
24:59
of me does and so a lot of times I’ll leave out things all together that I
25:05
don’t tell friends and it’s just like this giant Omission because I’m not even
25:12
considering my own needs or wants I always put them in the back background
25:17
and that’s not helpful in relationships and like that’s that’s how you end up
25:23
with like I’ve heard I’ve heard married people talk about little things that maybe maybe like the husband or the wife
25:31
like when they first met they did some little thing maybe I don’t know why I’m getting the imagery of an umbrella drink
25:37
but I’m seeing one of those little umbrella guys like that that and and just because at the first time they met
25:43
the one received that was like oh that’s amazing I just love those
25:48
and there’s no clarification on that then you know 50 years later there’s all
25:55
these little umbrellas paper umbrellas it’s a ridiculous it’s a ridiculous
26:00
way to put it but it’s like the clarification was never there so it just
26:05
is an ongoing thing that never was in the first place but because you never said you know I really don’t like that
26:11
or I really don’t like it just keeps coming here like he’s coming yes exactly
26:17
and then it starts to get annoying and then you start to get outright mad about it because you’re like I really don’t
26:23
like that yes you resent it they’re like whoa what
26:28
the first time like I thought I was doing a good thing because the first time we went out on a date this is what
26:33
I got you and you were so excited so I thought you liked that this whole time and it’s like no
26:40
right that happens a lot with food and drinks you’re right you know that we oh
26:45
yeah yeah you know you don’t want to tell them that you don’t like the meatloaf you know you’re just gonna eat
26:51
it to be polite you’re gonna make it look good but then every time you come over darn it they got the meatloaf and
26:59
you’re like huh and they’re like well I made you your favorite thing and you’re like well thank you
27:09
thank you better to go ahead and rip the bandage off and and and and tell the
27:14
truth and be vulnerable and all of that because there’s so many misunderstandings that can happen even
27:21
with the the non the non-verbal things especially I mean oh my goodness it can
27:27
send somebody in the wrong direction for years if you cannot well and I think there’s a decent way like there’s an
27:34
honoring respectful way to do it too where you don’t have to be like I hate
27:40
meatloaf you know or this is disgusting I don’t want to eat it like you don’t have to be rude or mean one of the
27:47
better ways I found to do it is you you share something more about yourself
27:54
so you simply say wow thank you I appreciate so much that you made me
28:00
dinner you know this was great um and then you’re gonna share you know one
28:07
of my most favorite meals to eat is so now they know that what you really
28:14
like right and hopefully I mean you could come
28:20
straight out and say you know I rarely eat eat loaf it’s not one of my
28:25
favorites but I did you know thank you for making this it was good you know but
28:30
I don’t eat it a lot it’s not a favorite of mine but I really like this you know
28:36
and maybe we can plan and maybe next time I can cook for you you know what are what are some of your favorite meals
28:42
and turn it into an ongoing relationship you know or communication what what do
28:49
you like to eat what’s your favorite you know now if they say meatloaf well you’re just gonna have to either suck it
28:57
up or you know but that’s usually a good way to avoid like making them feel bad
29:03
or you know if you honor the time the effort the way it was give
29:11
given you know bring all that out you know I appreciate that you even set the
29:17
table how nice was that to have a home-cooked meal you know thank you for making me feel so valued and special you
29:25
know I appreciate that and you know when you let it
29:31
I’m I’m so sorry I I’m laughing so hard on the inside I need to share it on the
29:37
outside even though it’s kind of lame here’s an example of what not to do okay don’t do this
29:44
there’s a male member of my family who after consuming anything that is like
29:51
not exceptional is like well thank you very much yeah yeah that was great and
29:57
um you don’t need to make that again oh my gosh
30:03
it’s like oh no that’s obvious that’s really obviously
30:10
well I guess I would rather maybe have that I haven’t put another way but
30:20
yeah just to be involved of making the meatloaf ever again it’s really okay we have to clarify you know
30:26
we don’t encourage don’t throw the plate don’t go throw it in the trash don’t
30:32
don’t insult or tear down because they’ve made something that’s horrible
30:37
you know I haven’t had one of my in my first years of marriage my ex got super
30:45
excited and you know got a new juicer and he was juicing
30:51
everything and he normally he’s a very excellent chef but he got this idea that
30:58
he was gonna make chicken with a special sauce
31:03
and what he did was he jippers and poured it over the chicken
31:08
and baked it now me trying to be the nice kind person I sat there and I suffered through and I
31:17
ate every single bite and was sitting there like God just helped me swallow it
31:23
because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings right no well he looked like he
31:29
was nibbling too right and and he waited until I had finished the last bite and
31:34
I’m not even kidding like I just finished that last fight and he says well that was really bad do you want to
31:41
go out and get something to eat I was like no
31:48
no so we have to work on this honesty thing
31:56
people and the you know the honor and respect
32:01
no Keeping Up Appearances just right when he made the mac and cheese
32:08
and accidentally dumped like half the half the shower until he knew I liked
32:15
that taste until but he don’t have much hard Dylan that mac and cheese that was
32:20
like no I did not let him cook with dill ever again
32:29
that’s funny I’ve never heard of that before in my life dark
32:41
Ness [Laughter] oh my gosh oh my gosh that’s a good
32:48
memory it’s you know it’s it teaches about the honor that we need to have an
32:54
openness and relationships that if we NE you know men women if it’s bad just
33:01
don’t make the other person suffer through it you know just say hey this
33:07
didn’t turn out let’s figure something else out here [Laughter]
33:14
yes that is the loving honorary thing to do recognize that go ahead and provide
33:20
it suck it up and move on that’s right
33:27
so all of that you know as we as we begin to really share you know the depth
33:35
of our our intimate desires wants and likes you know that’s probably the
33:40
hardest place to go and uh you know when I look back it’s actually really
33:46
funny when I entered into the one uh chaplain Residency program
33:51
they give you this massive questionnaire that you have to answer every question
33:57
and they tell you that you cannot leave any question unanswered um I’m usually somebody if somebody
34:03
gives instructions I like to follow them to the tape but as I went through this
34:09
all of a sudden there was all these sexual questions on there and I was like really this is not your darn business
34:16
right because I grew up where you just you didn’t talk about affection you
34:22
didn’t talk about those things you didn’t openly display it in public you
34:28
know that was something that was just between a man and his wife in their personal space and nobody else got to
34:34
know right so but what it taught me was that you know really like there we have
34:43
to be that place of vulnerability and it doesn’t mean that we just are vulnerable with the whole world with their most
34:49
intimate things but are we you know intimate with those
34:56
that are most or who are the closest to us in our lives you know your husband
35:03
your wife that’s somebody that you God designed you to be intimate with so are
35:10
you withholding those intimacies not sharing with them what you really like or desire or are
35:18
you opening up having that conversation you know that is what builds Trust
35:26
and there’s a lot of distrust in marriages and relationships so there’s
35:32
only one way to write that we have to start to communicate those likes and
35:37
dislikes and wants and desires now we have to start building that trust
35:43
with each other um you know trust is the true two-way street as it’s given you know we have to
35:51
receive it and we have to be faithful with it like we have to you know honor
35:57
that person with that trust not use it as a weapon against them or use it to
36:04
insult them or tear them down um it’s really a sacred honor that God
36:10
gives um to have that that place of trust in a
36:15
relationship yeah it’s a good word for that that the Lord’s been showing me is you
36:23
know goes back to early Genesis where the Lord first commands about the
36:29
relationship between a husband and a wife and he says that you know they shall be joined together they shall be
36:35
naked and they shall be unashamed you know so there’s that that nakedness
36:41
is not just physical there’s also that deep emotional spiritual connection with
36:48
each other that you know you can openly display that and talk about things and
36:53
not be ashamed or not be shaming one another as you bring out things so
36:59
you know make it fun you know I’ve known some couples that they and they will sit
37:06
there and have the talk and conversations and then they’ll go and test it out you know they’ll plan out
37:13
something to to um encourage one another in that to make
37:19
each other’s desires and wants come true you know so that mindfulness and that’s
37:27
you know that’s part of listening that you know when we act on what we’ve heard we’re
37:34
really helping the other person feel like they’re being listened to
37:40
and all of that leads to the you know the last two things in as we talk about
37:45
honor which is you know get excited to spend time together
37:51
you know if you’re not excited to spend time with your spouse you need to shift that and change it if
37:59
they’re not excited to spend time with you you need to really shift figure out what is going on in that relationship
38:07
because you know it’s ultimately meant to display that relationship that we
38:13
have with Christ and there’s a disconnect and I think that part of that disconnect comes
38:20
through you know the spiritual unequally yoked part where you’ll have
38:27
one spouse that’s really spiritual really close with God and then you have another one that’s not
38:33
and you know God is excited to spend time with us so you know that spouse
38:40
that’s closest to God is excited you know they want to make that relationship
38:46
work they want to spend time with that person but then you get you know the
38:51
other side where you’ve got the spouse that isn’t excited about the relationship and they definitely you
38:57
know aren’t excited about the things about God and um you know how do we
39:04
how do we shift that and the shift comes in putting into practice
39:11
a very simple truth the Lord prepares for us
39:17
he prepares good works in advance he prepares a place
39:22
he you know prepares for those conversations for that time of
39:28
intimacy you know he’s always waiting for us to come so how do we then Implement that into
39:36
our relationships well you know are we creating moments do we prepare for
39:43
moments of loving one another you know and here’s where again I think last week we addressed this a little bit
39:51
spice it up you know we’re meant to display that amazing marriage
39:57
relationship between Christ and his church so why do we have dull unfruitful
40:03
stagnant marriages you know we’re meant to really live really love really enjoy
40:10
and Delight in one another and that’s meant to be displayed you know before the world so
40:17
I encourage people you know we don’t want to know the intimate sexual things
40:23
but um we do want to know because you know this is a learning and a Growing
40:30
Experience for all of us so you know as you go through this week
40:36
think what can I what can you do you know to create that intimacy with your
40:42
spouse to prepare for those moments together to invest in one another share that you know share what you come
40:49
up with we want fun we want creative we want to see you know husbands and
40:55
wives delighting in each other laughing having Joy
41:00
um you know or if you’re working towards that type of relationship you know again
41:07
um how are you honoring the Lord in that relationship you know what are the
41:13
things that you’re doing to woo or pursue or to to advance that
41:19
relationship where God wants it to be I’m just going to be firm like we said
41:24
this is your SEC sex talk for the year it’s the best one you’re ever gonna get
41:30
and so I just have to include in there you know God says if you’re not married
41:38
you know you have to create those moments without them being sexual without you know going into that area of
41:47
sexual sin so you know I am a firm believer in abstinence if you’re not married so I’m just going to put that
41:54
out there but you know let’s hear your creative ideas of how you can begin to be building
42:01
you know that trust that honoring that respect for one another in developing
42:08
those relationships if you’re you know dating or um single and you’re moving into that
42:15
phase with somebody where you know you’re wanting to move into courtship or marriage so
42:21
um you know we want to hear about it because we want to share these things we want to give good healthy ideas to
42:27
others in that same space let us know what you’re doing um if you’re really struggling with sin
42:34
we want to know about that too you know we can pray for you and get people
42:40
um lifting you up helping you through those struggles um one of the other things I want to
42:46
address before we go tonight is the critical spirit
42:51
you know I I see that really there’s uh there’s a few things really
42:58
behind that one is a a spirit of perfectionism
43:05
um a spirit of do it myself a spirit of being unsatisfied
43:11
um being a bad receiver and being judgmental and also the silence and the
43:18
withdrawing so if you you know if you’re struggling with that or or you’re in a relationship
43:25
where you’re dealing with somebody who’s just really critical um
43:30
you know there needs to be a shift there um
43:36
if they’re not at a place where they can receive anything that you have to give
43:42
in that relationship then you need to be talking to the Lord about that because
43:49
you know it’s just not what the Lord desires for us there’s no fruit being born in that
43:56
and um with that you know I see a lot of body
44:02
shaming and appearance criticisms
44:07
um so I just you know we need to break it and the best way to do that is just
44:13
in prayer rebuke that Spirit um you know and really we need to start
44:19
making that shift with our words the Lord is our provider the Lord is the one
44:25
who knit us in our mother’s wombs none of us had an option or a choice when God made us
44:33
about our appearance or our looks none of us had a choice about you know
44:38
what body type we were going to have or how our body would continue to work and operate as we got older
44:46
um we do have choices about things that affect our
44:51
appearance in our body um you know the things that we can control or change our our diet exercise
44:59
the way we dress uh the way we do our hair our makeup so those are all things
45:05
that we can change if we’re not happy with it or if
45:12
our spouse or the person we are in a relationship with is not happy with it
45:17
now what I don’t want to see is I don’t want you know any of you going out and
45:24
and starting to tell you know um your spouse or the person you’re in a
45:30
relationship with all the things that you dislike about their appearance that is not where we’re going with this
45:38
um especially if you want to live through the end of the year you know yeah yeah I mean I don’t encourage you saying hey like
45:45
babe you need to dye it or you know tonight you’re getting a salad you know
45:52
these are not good things to say it’s not how we change you know unhealthy
45:58
habits I find that the best way to you know help somebody is through
46:06
encouragement but you don’t want the fake you don’t want to lie to him you don’t want to say you know you’re the
46:13
most beautiful girl in the world when they know that and they feel like they’re not
46:18
you know that’s just going to be a mocking it’s going to tear down more and it just adds to that feeling of I’m not
46:26
you know I’m not that so don’t do that but what you can do is
46:32
you know start to ask the Lord to show you what what to say what you can be
46:39
thankful for or what you do enjoy um and then start repeating back to them
46:45
those little phrases like you know thank you I appreciate so much every night
46:51
that you prepare and set that dinner table I appreciate the time you spend
46:58
making dinner and cleaning up afterwards I you know I’m thankful that you serve
47:06
me that you bring me this food thank you for that you know that makes me feel special
47:13
um maybe that’s something surprisingly you can go do yourself the next time you
47:18
know wake up early make breakfast for them and serve them you know or make a
47:24
nice dinner prepare things arrange things for them um
47:30
you know one of the funniest things I ever saw was
47:35
um it actually was really cute and sweet but I was in a church and there was a
47:41
younger mom she had like three little kids and they were sitting kind of like spaced out between her and her her
47:48
spouse and stuff and the little boy on the end all of a sudden he like reaches up and he has his
47:57
arm behind her but he starts like he’s just like stroking and rubbing her hair and playing with it you know and it was
48:04
so cute but I sat there and I was like well what a cute expression of love that
48:10
he’s you know he’s taking the time just to touch and to play and um to show his mom that he he loves her
48:18
hair and you know so
48:23
be playful with one another you know appreciate one another like when is the
48:28
last time Tracy like you you sat there with one of
48:34
your appearance or something and we’re like so how is your day
48:40
not that I’m saying I’m not saying I’m comfortable with that myself but the thoughts there you know that like do we
48:48
actually like sit there and you know like I talked about with my great-grandmother that she would use
48:53
those things to kind of Draw Me Closer to her what are we doing to draw that person closer to us as we’re talking to
49:01
them you know so
49:07
we’re all here we need a list of creative ideas people you know I need help with this I’m not an expert I’m
49:14
gonna say that but the Lord’s put it on my heart so here we are
49:20
another thing you can say is you know complimenting but again you don’t want
49:25
to don’t do the same things yeah I used to sit there like the Lord
49:31
had told me with some of my co-workers um that they really needed words of
49:37
encouragement and compliments so I purposely whenever I was interacting you know with them in a
49:44
visit I would be looking for stuff that I could then write a little note later
49:49
and and slip it into their book box at work and I would say the things that I
49:55
appreciated like you know one of them she always was she would always get down
50:00
on her knees when she was dealing with people in wheelchairs and so she could look you know look at
50:07
them eye to eye and she would give them space and time to talk
50:13
and so I wrote a little note and said you know I just think it’s absolutely beautiful the attention that you give to
50:21
people and you know I noticed with this you know patient that you knelt down you
50:26
were looking her in the eyes and you know even you were rubbing her arm and
50:31
you know and she took your hand and I saw that response that she loved just
50:37
having that physical touch from you and it looked like you know it brought her so much joy and peace and I love that
50:45
you you know treat people like that and you know it’s just such a pleasure to
50:51
work with you so things like that you know finding things that you could say
50:58
to to your spouse or the person that you’re in relationship with that gives them that encouragement you
51:06
know have they dropped everything in their schedule because you forgot something at home to make sure to get it
51:13
to you um have they surprised you with a lunch at work when you had a busy day or you
51:21
know maybe it’s even as simple as every morning when you get up the coffee’s already made and in the cup exactly the
51:28
way you like to drink it you know maybe it’s the all the towels you know are folded just the way you
51:35
like them or your clothes are folded or hung just the way you like them and they’re all exactly where you want them
51:42
to be right somebody does that somebody has to be mindful and pay attention to
51:50
the way you like things in order to arrange it the way you like it so think
51:55
the you know encourage them with that um you know that’s a moment to say wow
52:02
you were working so hard all day you know come sit down cuddle with me on
52:08
the couch you know and give that physical attention that they might need
52:14
um turn off the TV you know look him in the eyes hold them close and and just
52:20
let them tell you about their day even if it’s you know well I ironed the sheets and I folded all the laundry and
52:27
I ran after children and I did school with them and I cooked dinner you know
52:34
appreciate that because you know work at home is just as hard as work out in the
52:40
public at times you know we’ve got a lot of moms or dads who really
52:46
do a lot in the home so show your appreciation for that
52:52
and last is you know maybe your spouse or relationship
52:59
um as that quirky unique thing that drives you crazy in their appearance
53:06
maybe you know like little Alfalfa they got that hair stuff that always wants to
53:12
stick straight up in that colic um I want to be funny here because I know
53:19
my reaction would probably just to be like licking my fingers again
53:26
I don’t encourage that find a way if it’s something that drives
53:31
you crazy find a way to encourage them in a
53:37
different direction or to do something different but do it in a nice way you
53:44
know maybe you could be like I’m thinking of getting a haircut you know
53:50
what do you think what styles should I keep it short keep it long I don’t know
53:56
um you know talk to them about stuff and maybe encourage them you know
54:03
maybe it’s time to get a different hairstyle um you know there’s a point where
54:09
sometimes you just gotta be bold you gotta point out the obvious you know but that’s part of it you know
54:16
when we think about that honoring we don’t want other the people that
54:23
we’re in relationship with to be constantly out in public where
54:29
there a lot of people are thinking bad things about them or you know saying bad
54:35
things about their appearance so you know I appreciate those like if I
54:40
put on something that does not look good on me like we go shopping together
54:46
sometimes but if I have it and it doesn’t look good I want my friends to tell me you
54:52
know I don’t want them having me go out and then people being like wait what why is she wearing bright orange pants you
54:58
know and this is where those moo moo boots I don’t know yes yes and I need to
55:04
interject because this is what makes you an amazing friend an amazing at relationship so Side Story is
55:13
um what one of the trips we were about to you were you were about to go in and
55:19
speak and I put this dress on and I thought that this dress was
55:25
helping to minimize certain areas I thought this dress was you know making
55:30
me look presentable and it was so hysterical because I’m standing in front of the mirror and I turn around and
55:37
Jesse just looks at me and she’s like um
55:45
and it was funny because it was that moment that I was like ooh shocker I
55:51
don’t look like what I think I look like get this dress and I’m like this dress
55:57
actually does to me doesn’t it she was like yes I’m sorry
56:04
but when you change you went out for that show and you looked smoking hot
56:10
right like you looked great it was so bad I still have that dress and I look
56:16
at it it hangs in my closet because I’m not at the place where I can wear it yet someday maybe I can but that is not
56:24
today and I look at it and I’m like challenge accepted some days
56:31
I’ll look great in that dress that’s right yeah well but I mean the but the
56:37
the fact is though is that you want to despair me basically the humiliation of
56:45
being on display in the wrong way just because patterns and blocking was just
56:50
not good with my friend so anyways you scared me you know from from going out
56:57
there and and actually not feeling or looking my best and and and having the
57:03
Judgment of others look talking and criticizing my outfit and speaking
57:09
against me and like me inwardly cursing myself thinking I don’t look good or something and other people doing it
57:15
inside of them so I just I appreciate that so much you’re the friend that if you got a green thing right here you’re
57:22
gonna be like I’m gonna say something be like now go get right there right there
57:28
and again that’s not like being critical it’s it’s honoring the relationship like
57:33
you don’t want to have them go out and looking horrible you know so if it really doesn’t look
57:40
good say you know I hate to tell you this but that dress it you know and you don’t have to I guess the way to word it
57:47
is not to say you look fat or you know that makes you look big or that makes
57:55
you look horrible like you don’t want to compliment on necessarily or attack the
58:01
individual what you say is that style is not does
58:08
not look right or maybe that color’s not right that doesn’t fit you like it should it doesn’t you know accentuate
58:15
what it should so you know if we say it that way and I know you know women we have to be gentle
58:23
with men like listen to your men if if they’re giving you a look
58:28
you know don’t beat them up because they’re being honest you know maybe let them help you shop or
58:37
you know try on stuff and say should I wear this or this give them the option to tell you what looks good on you
58:45
um you know so that’s probably the best way to approach that is that we need to
58:51
not beat up those who are being honest because they’re trying to save us the humiliation and the embarrassment
59:00
amen you know I just have to I have to rat out the same male member of my
59:05
family no no not Mister you must not have that
59:10
again here’s your husband here’s what what not
59:16
to do okay so when when your wife comes downstairs and she says honey how do I
59:23
look do not say again if you want to live through the end of the year do not say
59:31
don’t you have anything else you can put on
59:36
I don’t I I personally would think that would be a better response than my God
59:42
honey I could take that off
59:53
you know what it was I had the old lady lip kissers in my childhood those
59:59
Catholic women that would come with a big lipstick in the big purses I think
1:00:04
they carried everything in those purses I mean it was better than an ammo bag
1:00:09
that the military had I’m telling you they definitely are more equipped for
1:00:15
any situation than our U.S military but they’ve got stuff from the Paleolithic
1:00:20
Era down in there they did have the lipstick and the big jewelry and you
1:00:26
know the outfits that were you know bright and and just like you’re like
1:00:32
that that just you know needs some toning down honey you know
1:00:39
it’s it we’re not trying to make fun of but it’s like what do you you know like
1:00:45
I guess it’s that honoring again like how do we say things you know we all to be honest
1:00:53
we all have thoughts we have natural reactions towards what we see and you know that’s what I’m bringing
1:00:59
out and I think back to one of my sons actually when he was little he was had to be like he was either four or five
1:01:07
and we’re driving one day to the store and all of a sudden it’s like every you
1:01:13
know as I’m trying to park he starts saying something about people and he’s like you know but it wasn’t nice stuff
1:01:20
he was like you know he’s like something about like her hanging out or
1:01:27
something like that and then he went to like the next lady like like look how
1:01:33
big her butt looks at those pants and like every imperfection he was pointing
1:01:38
out and I was like stop I was like stop but then as I’m looking I’m like he’s
1:01:44
just blatantly being honestly he’s like calling out things just as it is that’s
1:01:51
the type of kitty is and so we know that people have these thoughts and honoring means that if we
1:01:59
have the thought you know instead of just keeping it to ourselves and
1:02:04
allowing that person to continue to be in situations where others are having those same thoughts
1:02:10
you know the honoring thing would be to you know to share and say hey
1:02:16
you know that really does not look good on you
1:02:22
you know maybe something else would look better can I help you as you try on a
1:02:28
few things or you know even the point of I can remember you know
1:02:33
my great-grandmother one time and it wasn’t even anything bad but she just looked at me and was like you’re not
1:02:39
going out in public in that shirt like go back and change you know
1:02:45
you need to be that blunt you know
1:02:51
sometimes we might just need to be so yeah so again try to do it in a way we
1:02:57
don’t want to make fun we don’t want to tear down we don’t want to destroy and if we know somebody’s struggling
1:03:04
with something in their appearance or their body maybe be that encouragement
1:03:11
to help them change you know that’s what we need to do but we can’t
1:03:18
force people if they choose not to change we can’t force that and sometimes sadly you know we have to watch others
1:03:26
destroy themselves with their bad habits which is that’s difficult to go through
1:03:32
but that’s a topic for another day that is a topic for another day so we’ll
1:03:37
write that one down and come back to it at some point in time what to do in that situation so awesome awesome all right
1:03:45
how about I want to pray this out yes Heavenly Father we just thank you for
1:03:51
this day and this conversation and I just ask that you would release to us
1:03:57
um honesty and honor Lord that we would be in that place where we can respect
1:04:02
and build up and encourage and strengthen each other in our relationships I ask that you would
1:04:08
release relationships where we are delighting and taking joy in one another
1:04:14
and pleasure in one another father I ask that that our intimacy with you would be
1:04:22
would increase Lord that we would wake up excited to spend our time with you
1:04:28
that day excited to pray excited to share our relationship with you with others and I ask that we would be
1:04:36
excited about our marriages Lord that we would be able to display our
1:04:42
love openly with each other that that there would be no more holding back that
1:04:48
you would give us a season where marriages are intimate and um again where we take joy and delight
1:04:55
and pleasure in one another Lord and that our children see that that they see
1:05:00
that display of how a healthy marriage should look because it reflects our
1:05:06
relationship with you so we just praise you and we thank you
1:05:11
and we pray all this in your powerful name Jesus amen amen
1:05:18
very good we will see you next time [Music]